HIV Scotland
promoting positive change
promoting positive change
The closer you are to someone with HIV, the more likely that you will want to know what you should do. Here are some of the ways in which you might know someone with HIV.
Couples: If the person you know is your partner, then HIV affects you as a couple. Every relationship is different, and the fact that one, or indeed both of you is HIV positive need not be a problem.
At first, when a partner finds out their HIV status, there may be blame, guilt or resentment, or one of you might become overprotective or anxious about the future. What brought you together and has kept you close in the start of your relationship is what will keep your relationship healthy in the future.
Keep talking and let each other know how you feel. If you need support for your relationship, ask if there is someone you can talk to in your clinic, local voluntary organisation or Relationships Scotland.
Family: People with HIV are not all the same. Neither are their families. The kind of family we belong to is a major factor in what makes all of us the people we are. It is also important when we might need extra support and help.
Family members may not always know that one of them is HIV positive. The individual should be free to choose who to tell and when. If you find out much later than anyone else that a loved one has HIV, try to understand how difficult it can be to tell a parent, sibling or child. It can be hard to find the right time and place or the right words.
Your support as a family member is important – and this works both ways.
Friends and colleagues: There is no obligation on anyone living with HIV to tell others, including your employer and work colleagues.
You might not be first to learn that someone you’re in regular contact with is HIV positive. In many ways, there’s no reason why you should know, except that the individual wants to entrust you with the information.
Increasingly people are being open about being HIV positive, and this should be encouraged. The barrier to it is often the fear of how others might react. So, regardless of whether you think you know or don’t know someone with HIV, think about what it might mean for them. Humour is a great healer for some people, but some humour at the expense of others can be hurtful and drive them away.
Take care in your circle of friends or workplace how you speak about HIV or people who might be HIV positive. This will go a long way to helping someone to feel confident if they want to tell you
HIV cannot be passed on through every day social contact. You may already know that drinking from the same cup, sharing toilets, or shaking hands are no risk for HIV.